The song, "Thursday Morning"
was written and performed by Marcy Italiano (with Brent Hagerman
on Sax).
On the CD "Songs of Innocence and of
Experience" Marcy wrote and sang the song called "Thursday
Morning" in memory of a moment in New Orleans that is in
the book...
Thursday Morning received an Honorable
Mention in the Blues Category,
in the 2009 Unisong International Songwriting Contest. (See
full critique below)
"Thursday Morning just kicked the shit out
of me. I got drawn in by the sax as I love sax, and then the
lyrics sank in and I was a mess. I wasn't prepared for that.
Quite the tune, well done."
-- Kirk Metcalf, Accountant
"Just heard the song you recorded for Katrina
And The Frenchman trailer. Haunting and incredible! Is an MP3
available somewhere?" -- paperbackhorror
via Twitter
(Speaking of songs, if you have read the story
you know at one point I talk about the song, "Sunrise,
Sunset". I'd like to share that with you again here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLLEBAQLZ3Q.)
Thursday Morning - Unisong
International Songwriting Contest Critique:
Song Name: Thursday Morning
Writer(s): Marcy Italiano
Category: Jazz/Blues (Vocal or Instrumental, and Smooth Jazz)
MELODY
Is the VERSE melody interesting and memorable?
Yes
Is the CHORUS melody interesting and memorable? Yes
Is there enough contrast between verse and chorus melodies?
Somewhat
Is the overall melody easy for the listener to follow? Exceptionally
Melody Comments:
This is a moving piece of work, with a plaintive,
melancholy, bluesy melody. It is a fairly unusual recording
though, with only a voice and sax, we have to imagine what the
chords would be. Without them, and the EMOTIONAL DIRECTION they
would bring to each section, it is difficult to comment on the
melody, as it is the COMBINATION of melody and chords that make
a true song. However, we still get the point, and it works to
let us know what the intent of the writer wants to get across.
In some ways, the lyrical theme is even more emphatic that there
is not even a drum, or tambourine, or guitar giving us some
sort of rhythm because it makes the singer seem more ALONE.
The melody on its own is very appropriate for this kind of song.
You've done a fine job with this melody, even without accompaniment.
There is an old song from an Elvis Presley movie (King Creole,
we think) that begins quite a bit like this, with a woman singing,
"Crawdads - crawdads" - just as the street vendors
in New Orleans do as they wheel their carts down a street. However,
that song soon has rhythm, chords and everything else a normal
pop song would have, making it more accessible to our current
tastes. What a sad melody you have here, it really DOES make
us feel despair. Nice work.
LYRIC
Does the lyric begin with an interesting first
line? Yes
Does the lyric say something in a new and interesting way? Yes
Does the lyric make the listener feel emotion? Exceptionally
Is the lyric easy to understand? Exceptionally
Does the lyric work well with the melody? Exceptionally
Lyric Comments:
This is a basic theme that has been covered quite
a lot by other songwriters. Katrina is still etched into our
consciousness, even if we didn't go through it personally. By
the way that you've made your song PERSONAL, it makes the point
that much more emphatic! We really FEEL your loss hearing a
lone voice telling this sad tale. Lyrically, this does what
twice this many words might do in another song, because of your
use of imagery! Hearing this is like seeing a film - we're with
you all the way, feeling every part of it! Great, simple, but
heartfelt and insightful lyrics.
STRUCTURE
Does the intro build interest in the song? Yes
Does the structure keep the listener's interest? Yes
Do the different sections of the song fit together well? Yes
Structure Comments:
Again, the "voice and sax only" approach
threw us a little at first, expecting rhythm to come in any
time, but we soon got used to it. This is laid out precisely
as a modern song should be: verse, chorus, bridge format song.
The chorus & repeat chorus at the end was just right. Couldn't
be better.
TITLE
Does the title create interest in the song? Yes
Is it the correct title for this song? Somewhat
Title Comments:
This is a strong title, as it immediately makes
anyone seeing it want to find out what the story is about. However,
it is oddly placed for a true title, and does not SUM UP the
meaning of the song. Why do we say this? For a number of reasons:
The way it IS... the listener only hears it at the very beginning
of the song, then never again. By songs end, they have forgotten
which day it was, and therefore, your title. Titles should be
PLACED in the strongest positions within a lyric for maximum
effect: at the BEGINNING (first words) and/or END (last words)
of your CHORUS. Why? So that they will be repeated several times
and listeners will recognize it AS the TITLE so they can ASK
FOR IT! A more appropriate (but also more generic-sounding)
title would be: "I lost my baby in New Orleans" because
it fulfills all of the above requirements of a strong title.
So THAT is your dilemma. Our suggestion is to leave the title
as it is... and put it IN the CHORUS, by replacing the words
"My baby", with "Thursday Morning"... I
lost my baby in New Orleans. That way, it all works out, because
you mention "my baby" immediately after the first
line of the chorus anyway - so none of the meaning is lost,
but that original title "THURSDAY MORNING" stands
out. You CAN have your cake and eat it too! Good job, Marcy.
